At Marah - Exodus 15:24-26

 The people grumbled to Moses, “What are we going to drink?” So he cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree. When he threw it into the water, the water became drinkable. The Lord made a statute and ordinance for them at Marah, and he tested them there. He said, “If you will carefully obey the Lord your God, do what is right in his sight, pay attention to his commands, and keep all his statutes, I will not inflict any illnesses on you that I inflicted on the Egyptians. For I am the Lord who heals you.” Exodus 15:24-26

I love the Lord. He has called me out of darkness into His glorious light. And I confess, I grumble. 

But the Lord is renewing my mind. 

My habit of mind was to grumble silently, you know, where the Lord wouldn’t hear it, right.

I would keep these complaints and throw them in a sack I kept somewhere down deep in my mind. I was going for plausible deniability. It didn't work; my plan failed. 

The Lord kept testing me. He kept refining me. He used the tests to shape me and to change me. He let me know, “My son, you can’t hide your mumbles, nor your grumbles. I see it all (and I still love you). 

He taught me to bring my ugly thoughts before him: my impatience, my jealousy, my greed, my pride, and more. 

Do I still try to save a bit of grumble to throw in my sack? 

Yes. But Lord willing, I catch myself. And I lay it down at His feet. And I say, “Lord, these thoughts spring to my mind because they are on a well oiled track. Help me. I don’t know how to stop these.”

And He answers that prayer. I’ve seen myself create a habit of mind that brings these angry thoughts before the Lord. I’m not saying I have it all figured out. I’m saying I have seen a change. He is faithful. And He is still working. 

I’m also saying that I couldn’t do it. He had to do it in me. 

I notice in the Exodus passage the Lord says, “If you will carefully obey the Lord your God…”

That excludes me right there, right?  Well yes, if we are just talking about my ability, I can’t do this. There is no way I can carefully obey. But God empowers me. 

I can bring thoughts to Him. Over and over again. 

And here’s what happens, one day I see that carefulness in my thinking. I see obedience where I had no hope of it before. He does it. One day at a time. 

See, one day I realized that He wanted me to confess everything. He wanted me to hide nothing from Him. He wanted me to keep doing it. He didn’t want me to depend on myself; He wanted me to depend on Him. Deeply.

Carefully obey. I can’t. He empowers me. On my own, I’m a complete mess. He orders my steps, not me. 

And Moses knew this. As soon as the people grumbled, Moses cried out to the Lord. He didn't try to depend on his own power to handle it. 

Finally, look at the promise. If you obey, I will not curse you like I cursed Egypt. He’s the God who heals. All healing comes from him. He heals my body, and he heals my sin. 

And this is what I have begun to see. I see Him healing my relationships. Not all, yet. He IS doing it. I am seeing a trust growing in my friends and family. 

Do I have a long way to go? Does He test me? Yes. 

And by his great faithfulness, the tests are making me new.  Don’t get me wrong here. I am already new and justified. I am a citizen of Heaven. But He keeps working. Now, He’s cleaning me up so I can actually live there. 

He is doing it in me. Today.

Lord, I am yours. Today. Test me. Mold me. You are the potter. I am the clay. I desire to be a man of humble and powerful obedience. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.